Why do personal trainers work?

Can we run or cycle or swim or walk or kayak on our own? ... Yes. 

Can we pound the pavement alone?  Certainly.  But do we? ...

Can we join a gym, get a personal program and work out? ... Of course. 
Do we know it will be good for our health, fitness and mental state? Absolutely. 
So why doesn't everyone have a fitness regime they stick to, and live in a state of optimum vitality? 

It is a good question, with a myriad of complex and personal reasons. There are also some things that have consistently shown up as important.  And getting a personal trainer is a big one.  Why is this?  There are probably more reasons, but I can easily think of 6:

1.  You commit to meet them regularly (and paying them usually increases this feeling of commitment).

2.  You have a regular time dedicated to your health and fitness goals that you have committed to with someone else. When you are tired, or it's raining, it is easier to blow off training when it is 'just you'. Not so easy when you know your personal trainer has also had to get up early and is waiting for you on the beach, in the park or at the gym. So you are much more likely to stick with it.

Yum!!

3.  They understand where you are when you start, and where you want to get to.  So they can help you extend your reach (and they have the knowledge and experience to know just how far to push).

4.  They bring expert knowledge to the relationship to help get you to your goals faster - best ways to exercise, understanding of diet and nutrition, thinking skills, ways to measure progress, sanity checks ...

5.  They encourage you along the way.  Relentlessly.

6.  They have a wider view of what is possible, so they can push you past where you thought your limits were and take you even further.

So 'should' you be able to do it yourself? ... Maybe.  Some people do.   Are you likely to get a better result with a personal trainer? ... Almost certainly.  Why do professional athletes at the top of their game still use a coach?

So let's extend this thinking out a little.

You know how to increase your knowledge and your technical skills.  You take a course.

What about your ability to set effective goals, understand and improve your thinking, stretch your performance in a way that is sustainable?  How about building emotional intelligence, employing optimistic thinking, having those tough discussions when you need to, but in a useful way?  Leading yourself and others more effectively, building your social capital and strengthening your network?  Putting some extra focus into those important projects that keep slipping down the priority list, even though they are crucial?  Getting clear on what's important to you across all facets of your life and taking action to get there?

Sad, but true.  Like the cellulite cream from an earlier post.

It's not about how well you understand the theory.  Or how important you think it is.  Or how many books you have read about successful people and their habits.  It's about you.  What you think and what you do on a daily basis.  Arney said it well:

'Action on Purpose' is personal training for more than just your body.  We work with you each week to give you regular space to improve your thinking, your skills, your work, your life and beyond.

Life is busy and getting busier.  Work, change, kids, relationships, deadlines, keeping fit ....  Could you lift your performance and how you feel about your life, by taking action on your own?  Possibly ... with a book or a process or a road map to follow.  

When will you start?  Who will support you when the going gets tough (just like your personal trainer encouraging you to move to new heights)?

Rather than keeping on doing what you are doing - which may be good, but not amazing - come and join one of our 'Action on Purpose' programs.  Get an audit on your current situation, draw a line in the sand, and be ready for a strong upwards shift.  If you live on Sydney's beautiful Northern Beaches, or work in the City in either Sydney or Melbourne, our next programs in each of these locations start at the end of July.

Your life may be pretty amazing right now.  Just think how much more amazing it could be with some focused attention, regular time and space to think strategically, and a good dose of personal support.

Try this: think of just one thing you could do on a regular basis (but you're not), that you know will improve your performance or your life in some way.  Commit to doing it this week.  Tell someone you're going to do, and check in with them when you have.  Hold yourself accountable.  Take action.

Go out there and do great things!!

Despair = suffering - meaning

Why is it that the same situation can bring about learning and growth for one person, while for another it leads to depression?

I recently came across Chip Conley's excellent book 'Emotional Equations' and was struck by the simplicity and power of his first equation:

Despair = Suffering - Meaning.
It gives a practical way to think about events in our life and how we react to them.

The amount of suffering we experience may be partially within our control.  Maybe.  We can carefully choose the places we go, the things we do, the people we spend time with.  But much of the life that we experience is difficult if not impossible to determine in advance with any certainty (even if we decided we wanted to!).

On the other hand, applying meaning is definitely something we can do.  And a skill we can get better at.  So we can directly reduce our feelings of despair not  by trying to control everything and avoid anything that may cause pain, but by giving some meaning to what happens.

This is a central theme of Viktor Frankl's book 'Man's Search for Meaning: The classic tribute to Hope from the Holocaust'.  A psychiatrist from Vienna before the war, he describes his observations and his personal reactions to living through a Nazi concentration camp during WWII.  Similar to Nelson Mandela's observations in his book 'Long Walk to Freedom', Frankl saw through many painful examples that personal suffering was a result of inner decisions people make, and that everything can be taken away from us except our ability to choose our attitude.

If you haven't read Dr Frankl's book, give it a go.  It's an inspiring read.

Anyone not heard the increasingly gloomy stats on depression?  The media often publicises its strengthening hold on us, despite rises in our standard of living.  How can it be that while society's outwards indicators of success are rising, the mental health of many people is suffering?

Perhaps we are focusing on the wrong things.  Focusing on the suffering and trying to reduce it, rather than looking to increase the meaning we derive from life's challenges.

How clear are you on your life's purpose?  What do you do, on a regular basis, to take you towards your goals?  What's important to you, what are your values?  Having answers to these questions helps us to build meaning across our lives.

When something it tough, yet important to you, doesn't any pain associated with it become less relevant?  Even though it may be just as acute?

My eldest son, Matt, is a gymnast.  I watch him go through considerable physical pain in his quest to perfect his sport.  Does he cry?  Sometimes.  Often in frustration at not getting it quite right.  Does it cause him despair?  No.  He knows why he is going through the physical discomfort - which can be extreme at times as he learns new skills - and has his eye on the horizon.  His 'suffering' has a reason.  It isn't debilitating to him.  He has attached a meaning to it.

And what about childbirth?  Some even go into the experience a second of third time, knowing what they are up for.  Bringing the suffering down a few notches, what about changing a dirty nappy?  Does it make a difference when it is your own child?

When we are clear on why something is important, the suffering has context.  It doesn't necessarily lessen or go away, but nor does it lead us to despair.  In some cases, it can spur us on.  When the going is tough and the meaning is eluding us, just knowing that the pain is building resilience might do (assuming that you value personal growth).

Developing meaning is like building a muscle.  First, you need to want to.  Then you need to take action.  Over time, it becomes a habit.

I think we have been investing our energy in the wrong direction when trying to shield ourselves, our kids and our society from pain.  I'm not advocating removing sensible safe-guards, but I believe it is better to accept that there will be tricky times in life and develop skills and strategies to flourish through adversity.  To build coping strategies.  With kids, it can be in the questions you ask.  Through our questions we can help our children to discover meaning for themselves and thus help them develop resilience.

That's my two-penneth for the moment.  What do you think?

How well do you know your Brain Filters?

What do we filter out and what do we let through?

There is an extraordinary amount of input coming at us from the environment at any given moment.  
We don't have the capacity to pay attention to all of it.  And if we did it would drive us mad!  

So our brain filters come into play, to keep us sane.
They delete, distort and generalise information in order to show us the important bits that we need to be aware of, while getting rid of other bits to keep overwhelm at bay.

Why contemplate a decision again and again when we have already gone through the process and found a useful answer?  Our brain filters help us apply this 'answer' again and again, without the need for conscious intervention.

An excellent time-saver and hugely valuable!  That is, until the game has changes.

"Say NO to invitations to speak in public because you get tough-tied, embarrassed and feel bad" may be a good decision filter for a young person with a fragile self-image.  How useful is it when that person is 30 and in order to get that sought-after promotion they need to give presentations and chair meetings?  Saying 'YES' and getting some practice may be a better choice.

The more aware we are of our brain filters, the more we can check out whether they are doing a good job for us, or need some adjustment.  Attitudes and beliefs, values, past decisions, memories.  They all have an impact on how we feel about what we are experiencing, and the action we take as a result.  Are you running your filters, or are they running you?

The great news is that although filters are often unconscious, we can increase our awareness of them and ultimately we can change them.

Going through a structured process to examine your thinking can have a dramatic impact on your future results.  How often do you reflect on your thinking and whether it is, in fact, taking you towards your dreams?

Our brain filters have been built up over time.  Some may support us.  Some may not.  And in looking at them objectively we are able to decide whether they take us in the direction of our goals.  [All of this does presuppose that you have an idea where you want to head in your life ... this not 'a given' for many people, but it's also not hard.  And it increases your likelihood of getting there.  Just ask Alice!]

An interesting phenomena is the 'delete' filter in reverse, the 'reticular activating system' or 'RAS'.

Have you ever noticed that once you become aware of something, for whatever reason, you tend to experience more of it?  Take buying a car, for example.  Imagine you decide on a certain car because it looks good.  You've only seen a few on the road and it seems pretty exclusive.  That is, until you seriously consider buying it ...  Even before you pick it up the road is suddenly flooded with them - and mostly in the same colour as yours.

What's happening?  Are there really more of these cars on the road?  No - it is your RAS picking them up and it works like this:

Once you tell yourself that something is important, the RAS adjusts the deletion mechanism to include the thing you have defined.  So it does the opposite of 'delete' and highlights every occurrence.  The conversation you hear across the room about a great resort in Vietnam, just after you've decided to go there for a holiday.  A piece of 'junk mail' giving you details of a cooking course at the Fish Markets when you have just decided to perfect cooking Chilli Mud Crab.  Before, there was no reason to notice this particular car, or the quiet conversation across the room, or the flyer from the Fish Markets.  Now there is.

Imagine how well this can help us in achieving our goals.  Imagine trying to capitalise on the value of the RAS without any goals??  Interesting.

If you have noticed your RAS in action I'd love to hear about your experiences.

Parlez-vous Francais - why would you bother?

They say that French is the language of love.  
Why is this?  Is there any truth in it?  
Is it just that the accent sounds sexy, or is there more to it?

French - the vibrant and sexy 'language of love'?

Language is something that sits as one of our array of brain filters.  A lens through which we experience the world.  And it is pretty unconscious for those of us who only speak our mother tongue.  Isn't language 'just the way the world is'?  Apparently there is more to it.

Ask someone who speaks a different language fluently about their experiences and you will most probably find that they experience the world quite differently when they 'view' it from a different language.

For example, Sami people of polar Europe have hundreds of words for 'snow'.  Which means that their experience of snow is different from the person who has English as their first language who may only have one word.  This is also different to the experience of an expert skier who may have five words for snow. So if all three were to view the same icy scene, they would actually 'see' something different due to their language filter.

The basic English speaker would not be able to distinguish the nuances which would be obvious to the Sami folk.  To her they would appear identical.

If we understood 'Penguin', how many words for 'snow' might they have?

There are six ways to say 'sorry' in Japanese.  Hmmmm.

And the Penan people of Sarawak have one word for 'he, she, it' and six words for 'we'.  What impact do you think this language filter has on their map of the world, their behaviour, and the results they achieve?  In what ways do you think it affects Penan society?

I have a friend who is fluent in both French and English, who says that her experience of food is quite different in French.  When she discusses food in French she is able to find richer descriptions and more elaborate gastronomic terms that increase her enjoyment.  And for her, sharing a meal with friends 'in French' also tends to enhance the flavour - no matter what type of cuisine is represented on the plate.  Sadly, she declined to comment on her more intimate experiences ... but smiled lots!

So learning the local language not only helps us ask for directions and order a coffee, but it gives us a window into the thinking and perspective of people from different parts of our amazing planet.

How cool!

If you speak more than one language, I would be incredibly interested to hear your thoughts on this - and more particularly your experiences.

Self-talk. How useful is yours?

The Majestic Kokoda Track

The Kokoda Track.  
Iconic, wild, physically challenging, emotionally tough.

Some years ago I was lucky enough to spend time taking people to PNG, on leadership experiences; working with them to test themselves against the backdrop of mud, mountains, rain, leeches, going steeply up and coming steeply down.  Never a breeze.  Never 'ho hum'.

Who would be the people to get through pretty easily?  The young and the fit?  You might think so.  But there is another dynamic happening when we do something that is really tough.

Having watched many people tackle this challenge, it was clear that everyone finds it hard.  Talking to them as they go along they disclose fear, self-doubt, physical and emotional pain - in varying amounts, at different times.  But from the outside, what can you see?

Usually, a pretty nondescript expression, or a weak smile.  And to the outside untrained eye, this often translates to 'I'm ok'.  So while the person is tackling their inner demons and may be screaming in anguish on the inside, all their travelling companions see is 'I'm fine'.

What do they do with this interpretation?

Do you use this strategy?

Often they compare it to how they are feeling themselves, and the demons they are working to overcome.  Not surprisingly, this often makes them feel worse.  So the fit and healthy person, doing it tough, observes the heavy smoker who is carrying more than a little extra weight, looking 'fresh as a daisy'.  And it can really mess with their thinking.

"How can I be in trouble here?"  "How can he be doing it so easy?"  "This is too tough for me."  "Wow - I might not be able to cope!"  "What am I going to do?"

The other guy, who by all accounts really should be struggling, is still moving forwards.  One foot in front of the other.  He is still looking calm.  How is he doing it so easy?

Well, he's not.  You can't see someone else's thinking, you can only see what is visible.  He is most likely fighting with his thinking at every step.  But this is a personal conversation which doesn't show on his face.  It is all taking place within his self-talk.

We're all in on-going conversations with ourselves that affect how we think and feel on a moment by moment basis.  It's an extremely important conversation that contributes to how we decide what we are capable of and where we might invest our energies.  On the Track, it was potent.

How conscious are you about yours?

Are you interested, encouraging and useful in your self-talk?  Self-critical, judgemental, harsh?  Do you continually judge yourself against your perception of others?  If so, are you even conscious that your interpretation may be false (as in the Kokoda example of 'everyone else is doing ok while I am dying').  Are you supportive?  Damaging?  Somewhere in between?  Never really thought about it?

Our self-talk is sometimes called 'the inner critic' for good reason ... because often that is exactly what it is doing.  Criticising.

The good news is that self-talk is just another habit.  And with practice we can change it.

Try this:  Test out your perceptions to get a more accurate evaluation.  If you aren't feeling resourceful, can you find more useful things to focus on?  Bring to mind examples of success to lift your confidence.  In the jungle, you can look around you for the awe rather than focusing on the mud.  Some people forget that what you focus on is your choice.

Kokoda is an amazing place.  As well as the mud, it is also a place of laughter, friendship, wonder, inspiration, reflection, self-understanding, satisfaction, exhilaration.  The good old belly laugh and the amazing sense of pride from finding something that just couldn't be done, and doing it anyway.  An experience to last a lifetime.

If people really are your greatest asset ...

what are you doing about it? Are you continuing to build their skills, and your own?

Anyone remember the days when we had training on how to use Word?  Or Excel?  Or just about any piece of software, actually?  Now we just expect people to be computer literate.  Or to learn in their own time.  And we also expect them to know how to be 'good at work'.

Not just good at the technical parts of their job, but also good at getting things done.

As people progress in their career, they are often given increased responsibility.  It may be a new project.  Implementing a change.  Leading a team in a new direction.  In many cases it spreads to include the performance of other people too.  Perhaps you are required to run meetings.  Speak at conferences.  Have high-stakes conversations.  Develop staff.  These are not innate skills for many of us.  Often we need not only the new skills, but the personal confidence to use them effectively.  Often both need to be learned.

So what exactly are these skills that we need to keep developing, to be 'good at work'?

For a start, it's about being engaged.  Motivating yourself and those around you.  It is about getting the job done well for your own reasons, rather than because someone is wielding a stick.  It's the cliche of 'going the extra mile'.  Taking personal responsibility.  It's the stuff of collaboration, communicating well, influencing, delivering on high priorities ... consistently.  Setting goals effectively, so they are achieved.  Visualising and communicating success so you build positive momentum to reach your targets.  Confidence, passion, humility, focus, inspiration, trustworthiness.  They can be lumped together as: Performance skills.  And they can be learned and developed.

At it's core, performance is about self-leadership and personal effectiveness, irrespective of the title on the business card or the organisational rung.  Sometimes these skills are called the 'soft skills' (though there's nothing 'soft' about better customer relationships, project success through collaboration, sky-rocketing team performance, increased sales, low turnover and absenteeism ... the list goes on ...).

'Soft' is a misnomer.  Exhibiting 'soft skills' may mean making the hardest calls of all.

Let's take the often misunderstood area of 'emotional intelligence' as an example.  This isn't about being 'emotional' or 'nurturing' or 'kind'.  Or getting in touch with your feminine side.  It is about understanding ourselves and what is driving us (and others), so that we can respond appropriately to what is happening, rather than react in a knee-jerk fashion to how we are feeling.  We may decide to respond strongly and passionately because that will yield the best results.  Or pause to provide space for others to give their views.  Or take a long, slow, deep breath.  Literally.  The EI difference is that rather than being run by our emotions in the moment (like anger, sadness, frustration, overwhelm ...) we notice them, understand them, and then take the most useful action, consciously, in order to achieve the best outcome.

If you are interested in building this array of skills - for yourself, your team, your business - we'd love to talk with you.

• Are you trying to re-shape your culture?  
• Implement some important changes?  
• Develop useful mindsets to stay competitive?
• Support your people to achieve in a demanding environment, as their workload soars?  
• Upskill to increase innovation and creativity?  
• Build goal-achievement as a key competency?
• Prepare key staff for succession? 
• Get out of a rut: re-energise, re-invigorate and set a compelling direction? 

... If so, it's soft skills you need.

At HMP, this is our specialty.  Not just theory so you can say 'yep, that makes sense, I understand', or 'yes, I agree that's important', but the step-by-step 'how' so that you can actually do it.  It is practical.  The guided reflection, the planning, the skill-building, the feedback, the support, the encouragement.  The back-up of academic research to keep the analytical part of our brain tuned in.  The regular space to actually develop skills, habits and new ways of thinking in order to become proficient.

Success is not just about what you do (although action is critical).  To be sustainable, it's also about what you think and who you are.

We loved the recent McKinsey Quarterly paper, "How centred leaders achieve extraordinary results".  It sets out 5 dimensions the researchers found were strongly linked to business performance.  Interestingly, each of the 5 dimensions - Meaning, Engaging, Connecting, Positive framing and Managing energy - is addressed in our 'Action on Purpose' program.  Yes, we also think they're important.  And we show you how to build them for yourself, so they work in your specific context.

As we have mentioned in previous posts, our action is driven by our thinking and our self-concept.  Both can be dusted off and given a shine.

Learning effective thinking strategies helps us take consistent action towards business success.  And towards our personal dreams.  Many useful bite-sized strategies will be posted in this blog - so why not enter your email address in the sidebar, so that we can let you know whenever there is a new post.

For a face-to-face personal experience, plus individual coaching, come along to a workshop (see side panel for places and dates).  It will accelerate your results, and we'd love to meet you in person.

To get started, try this:
Are you living in the place where you belong, with the people you love, doing the right work, on purpose?
Ponder this question.  What does this look like, for you?  For your business?  Do you have a clear and compelling picture?

Is your current behaviour - on a daily basis - taking you towards this vision of what you want, or further away?  Is there anything you need to change?

Sit quietly with a pad of paper.  An inspirational setting works particularly well.  Or a comfy arm chair.  Somewhere you feel relaxed and have space to think.  Then start writing, or drawing, or both.  Coloured pens work well.  Have fun with it!  The clearer you are on what you want, the easier it is to move towards it.

What CAN you control?

We've seen that the 'stuff that happens out there' can be positive (last post).  What about the negative stuff?

Many elements of our environment are beyond our control.  Things don't always necessarily happen for the best and sometimes we experience negative feelings.  This is part of the human experience.  The question is, what can we do about it?

Before getting into our perceptions and brain filters (coming!), let's spend this post on the things 'out there' that we can control.

Consider a gentleman I met some time ago, who talked about a group of school friends he used to regularly catch up with.  They came through the school system together, remained tight as they started work, and caught up often, usually around sport and alcohol.  He knew their families, he knew their girlfriends/wives, and over the years he spent a great deal of time with them.

From a superficial glance, you might think that it would be great to have such a tight bunch of friends.  Sadly, it was not a positive experience for him.

To this group, he was known as 'Hippo'.  Having struggled with his weight through school and since, this name conjured up bad images for him.  Although he never liked it (and they knew it) he laughed it off as 'just a bit of fun' or a 'term of endearment'.  But it took some effort.

One of the most hurtful aspects of the relationship for him was that they laughed and put down his ideas, his dreams, and even his girlfriends.  If he commented on this it meant he 'couldn't take a joke', or he 'didn't have a sense of humour', and he risked the wrath of the group.  And surely it was all in good fun.  Wasn't it?  So over time he shared less and less of the things that mattered most to him.  He was a smart and sociable guy, and he continued to fix a smile on his face when he was with this group, and to laugh it all off.  But it came at a considerable price.

So why did he continue to see them for many years?  Good question.  He didn't really know.  It was a habit.  Some loyalty to the past, perhaps?  They were his 'mates' after all, and it was what he did.  But being around them never made him feel good.  In fact, worse than that, it made him feel terrible!

Once he was prompted to think about his 'environmental influences', and acknowledge that he could consciously choose his friends, he decided to find some news ones - people who shared similar interests, lived nearby, talked about things that interested him, were encouraging about his ideas.  In short, people who shared a similar notion of 'friendship'.  And over time, he found that he 'just couldn't make it' to the footy games and the drinking nights.

And with these changes his general level of happiness increased.

Try this:

Think about the places you go and the people you mix with.  Are you spending your time with the people you love?  Do they support and encourage the best from you?  Do they challenge and stretch you?  Are they positive influences in your life?  If so, keep them close, treat them well and let them know how important they are to you.

Sometimes relationships pass their 'use by' date.  Sometimes having a courageous conversation about your experience can shift things.  Sometimes it is better to part company.  Remember that you have a choice in where you invest your time and energy and who you regularly interact with.

And what about you?  How would others describe the influence you exert on their day?  Do you lift their spirits?  Is their day better for having spent time with you?  Or are you quick to criticise and point out their flaws?

You can also choose the impact you have on other people, which can have wide-reaching consequences.  Image working for someone who is supportive and encouraging.  What is the likely impact on your performance?  Your level of interest and engagement?  What about the flow-on effect when you get home?  Maybe you are one of these highly valued leaders who lights a torch in the darkness and takes people to a better future.  If not yet, how could you be?

Is it all in the mind?

Our reality, whether we are happy, sad, amused, shocked, confused, overwhelmed, whatever ... is derived from the way the 'stuff happening out there' interacts with our brain filters.

So it's not 'all in the mind', but the mind does play a staring role.

In psych-speak: we co-create our reality through a combination of external events and internal interpretations.

This is the start of the 'Pathway to Results', mentioned way back in the very first post, and we'll spend the next few posts breaking the pathway down to see where we can make useful adjustments for better outcomes.  There are many ways we can adjust our various brain filters, but we'll begin by considering the environmental influences, or the 'stuff happening out there'.

Every day we are exposed to a vast amount of input, which hits all our senses and affects our internal processes.  It builds, adjusts and passes through our brain filters to create our reality.  And it has been doing this throughout our life.

Try this:
Think about the environmental influences in your personal history and how they have affected you.

They may include your parents, extended family, school teachers, friends, colleagues, books, magazines, papers you've read, things you've listened to, TV shows, movies, groups you've belonged to, courses or seminars you've attended, the culture where you grew up, and the list goes on ...

What has influenced you in a positive way?  Which inputs bring a smile to your face?

[If this exercise brings certain people or events to mind, you might want to provide some positive feedback to those involved.]

If you want to positively impact your experience, the 'stuff happening out there' is a good place to start.  Consider what 4 specific actions you can take to bring in more positive environmental influences over the coming weeks.  I'd be interested to hear how you go.  You may find it really easy.

When is a "quick fix" not so quick?

When it doesn't actually work!  
"5 simple keys to transform your life."  "7 secrets to wealth beyond your dreams."  Quick grabs. Tweets.  Sound bites.  
Give it to me now.  To even say 'instant gratification' just takes too long.  We're already bored.

We all know that if you eat cream cakes, doughnuts and fried food every day you can't simply apply 'firming lotion' to your thighs and expect the cellulite to disappear.  So how do products with similarly amazing promises disappear off the high-end shelves at such speed?  Often the more expensive, the quicker.

What is going on?

In our hearts we know that we need to eat healthy food, drink lots of water, exercise and get a good night's sleep - regularly - to have the health and vitality of our dreams.  The thing is that the 'quick fix' is so compelling.  We just want to believe in it.  And if it is really expensive, surely it must work?

What about the vibrating belt that exercises for you while you sit on the sofa and watch TV?  Really?

Dr Tal Ben-Shahar, one of the great thinkers and practical teachers in the positive psychology field, acknowledges that our belief in a successful outcome and our passion or desire to get it are two of the most important elements in our success.

The third element, however, is not so sexy.  It is ... wait for it ... (drum roll) .........
persistence.
Yes, that old chestnut: good, plain hard work.  Putting in the hard yards.  Dooopppphhhhhh!!

So the next time you reach for the 'cellulite reduction cream' or the vibrating exercise belt - or some other 'quick fix', think about it and make a conscious choice.  Is it going to support you in the longer term (in which case, go for your life and tell the world), or do you really need to develop some better thinking and some more useful habits?

Who cares what you think?

Hmmmmm ... ??

You should!  In our fast-paced lives, personal reflection is a luxury that many of us just don't get to enjoy on a regular basis.  

When did you last think about your life, your work, your relationships, your health habits, your finances, in anything but a reactive manner?  Especially if you are juggling, multi-tasking, holding down 2 jobs, over-achieving, just trying to cope or striving for more.


Thinking drives action.  Action drives results.  Is your thinking getting you the things you want in your life?  If not, what could you do differently?  What you think really does matter.

The more people you influence
- work teams, business units, entire organisations, colleagues, friends, family, children, sports teams, social groups ... you get the idea -
the bigger the impact your thinking, your attitude and your behaviour have in the world.  Why would others want to follow your lead?  More importantly, why would you?  Are you leading anywhere interesting - for you or anyone else?

All great leadership starts with self-awareness and self-leadership.  What are you doing on a daily basis to be the very best you can be?  How are you getting clearer on your thinking?  How are you continuing to build your skills?

Try this: find a time each day for a week where you can think, and not be interrupted.  If you haven't done this for a while (or at all) start small.  Just 5 minutes will do.  When you first get to work, perhaps?  Or when you get in having dropped the kids at school?  Immediately before eating lunch?  The timing isn't important, you just need to do it every day for a week.

Consider this question - 'what's most important to me, and why?'  Just ruminate on the question while you sit quietly.  After the 5 minutes are up, jot down your thoughts.  Then put them to one side and don't look at them again until the end of the week.  [The idea is to have different thoughts each day, rather than prompt yourself to reconsider the ones you had yesterday by re-reading your notes :) ]

When the week is up, go back and read your entire collection of thoughts.  Are you getting clearer?  Or is the exercise bringing up more questions?  What picture is starting to form?  What initial action does it prompt?

After a week, feel free to keep the daily 5 minutes for mindful reflection.  And if you're lucky, with time, it just might become a habit.

How to be happy :)

When you're six, some blue hair gel will do the trick.  Simple!

As we get older and more discerning, we learn to want more.  "I can only be happy when (car, boat, relationship, promotion, holiday .......) happens."  How useful is this way of thinking?

I have a friend who, when faced with a situation where success is almost certain, will say (with a stern expression on his face) "Yes, it may happen, but I don't want to get excited about it."  If pushed about the likelihood, he may say, "OK, it is pretty certain, but I still don't want to get excited."  

Don't want to get excited?  Why?  

I, for one, will take all the excitement I can get :)

So why would you want to be happier?  Research shows that positive emotions have a beneficial impact on our creativity, our relationships, our health - not to mention the obvious ... that they make us feel good.  When we are happy, we make other people smile.  We are good to be around.  We can deal with setbacks more usefully.  In business, we encourage participation and help others to switch on the creative parts of their brain (will post more on this later).  We help to build co-operation.  

Ever worked directly with someone very grumpy and critical.  How was that?  What happened to your performance?  Your confidence?  Your feelings of wellbeing outside work?  For some, it can be debilitating.  Some invest emotional energy in being ok and limp along.  For others, it's a cue to move on.

Try this:

Consider the impact you have on the people around you?  Do you brighten the mood and help to make things possible?  Do you throw a bucket of cold water on others or their ideas?  Are you 'just neutral'?

What could you do, today, to have a greater positive impact on those around you ... friends, family, colleagues, the guy at the coffee shop, the bus driver ....?

Thanks to the academics studying Positive Psychology, there is now a wealth of research and information on what, specifically, we can do to be happier.  It isn't a magic pill, but it does adjust the way we look at the world.  If you adjust your thinking and take specific action, there are definite ways to improve your confidence, engagement, performance, resilience .................... there are proven ways to Be Happy.

Try this as a starter - for at least 2 weeks:

Every day, at the end of the day, write down 3 things that went well during the day.  It can be a good game to play around the dinner table, but you can also do it alone.  The next day you have to think of 3 new and different things to write down.  Then again the next day.

In a journal, write down your reflections on the process, how it changes during the 14 days, and any impact it has on you.

Or you could just put blue gel in your hair.

Enjoy!  I'd love to hear how you go.

Welcome

Do you need a boost to your motivation, performance and resilience at work and beyond?

Not sure how?

Much like a personal trainer to help with physical performance, HMP developed a 10-week group coaching program to help people clarify what they want out of life and take action towards it.

Pathway to Results

It is called 'Action on Purpose'.

So - the big question is:
How do you get the result you want?

In 10 years time, you will be 10 years older.  Will your life be where you'd like it to be?  On purpose?

It's not just about what you do (although taking action is critical).  It's mostly about what you think.  And how many of us take regular time out for personal reflection?  How do we improve our thinking?  Are we doing 'more of the same' yet expecting better results, even though we know this is madness?

The reason for this blog is to share useful, practical ideas and information - to give you 'food for thought' - and to help improve the results you are getting.  It is also to give you a flavour of the workshops, which run regularly in Sydney and Melbourne.  If you like what I have to say, I'd love to meet you in person.

So, welcome.  I hope you check back ... often.  And let me know what you think.